Let's Talk Hellhounds
Obviously, I don't have one. They're a lot of work and this website kind of takes up all of my free time. My only pet is my site pet Batty. He makes no mess and you feed him for me. He is perfect.
But for a lot of vampires, hellhounds are the perfect pet. They make excellent guard dogs, they also have an insatiable craving for human blood, they like tummy scratches, there are many things that are wonderful about them. Sure, the wreak havoc on the local wildlife and on your human neighbors, but if you're willing to put up with a little bloodshed and a little mess, they will be your best friend literally forever.
There are many different schools of thought about hellhounds. Some will tell you that it is unethical to keep them as pets because they have too much pent up bloodlust aggression hatred for anything that breathes energy and that they are meant to be wild animals. To that I say, do you think anyone could keep a hellhound anywhere against its will? Hellhounds voluntarily bond with their vampire masters. They may look like dogs, but deep down they're a lot more like cats than you'd think. You can't make them do anything they really don't want to or stay anywhere they really don't want to stay.
Now, let's look at interpretations of hellhounds in different media.
In Dungeons and Dragons, hellhounds are hostile creatures with fire breath, pack tactics, keen sense of smell and hearing, and a powerful bite. According to their monster manual write-up, "a hell hound’s evil disposition means that the creature can’t be trained to be anything other than a ruthless killer. If a hell hound isn’t allowed to indulge its malevolent hunger, it quickly abandons or turns against its master." This just kind of makes hellhounds evil dragon dogs. This is not necesarilly correct. Hellhounds are very loyal to their masters.
In The Lost Boys, hellhounds are depicted as mostly mindless murder machines. Thorn, the hellhound in question, is protective to a fault of his master. He's a good boy, sure, but he is a little stupid and he kind of messes things up for his master through his mindlessness. I mean, this is assuming he was told not to attack that woman. If I owned a hellhound and I also had a girlfriend, I would tell my hellhound not to attack my girlfriend. If I am misjudging Thorn and it was his owner who was mindless that is a different story altogether.
Hounds of Dracula by Ken Johnson is actually a very good book. It is probably the most accurate depiction of hellhounds I have ever seen. In the story, without giving too much away, hellhounds demonstrate many of the abilities they actually have. They can feign lifelessness very easily, they can smell much further than any mortal dog, they can sense their master no matter where they are, and they can 'turn' other dogs much like vampires can turn humans. The book somtimes refers to hellhounds as vampire dogs, which is a very accurate description.
In Brahm Stoker's novel Dracula and all the subsequent adaptations, it can be unclear whether the children of the night who make such music are hellhounds or regular wolves. I cannot confirm one way or another but I would say that the wolves that ride with Gary Oldman are more likely hellhounds because of their docility with the count and their vitrol towards everyone else. While it's true that vampires can mind-control animals and control their behaviour, these wolves seem to be more voluntarily following Oldman's Dracula, which is more realistic.
In Supernatural, hellhounds are invisible. They are also tied exclusively to demons and not to vampires at all. While it's true that demons are also avid hellhound owners, vampires play second fiddle to no one. Anyway, hellhounds are not invisible to anyone. You see them when they come for you. Church grims are invisible except to the dead and dying, but they are different from hellhounds and are typically more holy creatures than hellish creatures.
In mythology, hellhounds are also big players. In European mythology they are servants of the devil who guard the gates of hell. In myth in the Americas they are either sorcerers or devils who can shapeshift. In Chinese myth they can breathe fire and in Indian mythology they send the unrighteous to hell. In Japanese myth, they eat weary travelers who cannot outsmart them. One thing is consistent between cultures, they are deadly to humans. You can learn more about specific mythologies here
If you have read through this and now think you are prepared to own a hellhound, NO YOU'RE NOT. YOU DO NOT NEED A MURDER PUPPY. Just get a german shepherd. A hellhound will probably eat you. And remember, before you get ANY dog at all, adopt don't shop, don't give them as gifts, and DO YOUR RESEARCH.
