Welcome to Yukon's Vampire Dictionary

Image credit: howstuffworks2001 Image description: A pencil sketch of Chupacabra. End description.

Vampire Words:

Bat. Noun. The nocturnal sky rat vampires are known for turning into. Cute.

Bite. Verb. To sink one's teeth into something.

Blood. Noun. Food.

Cape. Noun. The cool cloth Dracula wears around his neck. Fashionable.

Fang. Noun. The pointy eyeteeth that vampires have.

Hangry. Adjective. The thing vampires get when they don't have enough to eat.

Maker. Noun. The vampire that turned a human into a vampire. Not every vampire has a maker.

Mind control. Verb. To exert your will over another person using only your mind. A thing vampires can do. Kind of like The Force.

Neck. Noun. The best place to bite.

Noon. Noun. What vampires call midnight.

Psychic Energy. Noun. Metaphysical energy that humans have and psy-vamps feed off of. Also food.

Telepathy. Noun. Moving things around with your mind. "The Force" for vampires.

Vampyre. Noun. A synonym for vampire. Often, the modern vampire community will use this word to distinguish themselves from cinematic vampires.

Virginity. Noun. A social construct. Being a virgin does not make your blood taste better. That whole thing started because of Elizabeth Bathory, a Hungarian queen from the 1500's who bathed in virgin blood because she believed it would make her look younger and more beautiful. All it did was make her look absolutely BANANAS.

Image credit: FruitOfTheLoom Image description: A t-shirt that looks like a fancy collared shirt. There is a ribcage design under a bow and a coat-like design. End description.

"Yukon, what kind of vampire are you?"

That's a fair question. Unfortunately for you, nosey-nosferatu, it's not a question I'm going to answer.

Humans place way too much importance on vampire subspecies. All you need to know is that you're talking to a vampire.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is not taking a vampire seriously because they don't look like Vlad the Impaler.

PS: It's considered rude to ask about fang-size.

If you only take one thing from this then take away the point that there are many kinds of vampires and that we are 100% undeniably real. Humans do not get to decide what does and does not constitute a vampire. We are not a monolith, we don't all look the same, but we all have one thing in common and that's the consumption of energy whether that's blood, psychic energy, emotional energy, etc.

Alright, there's no quiz. Not yet anyway.

Let's go back to the main page.