I would like to start out this page by stating that for the record I am not totally convinced that Taika Waititi, New Zealand director and filmmaker and creator of What We Do In The Shadows and Our Flag Means Death, is not in fact a vampire. He gets a startling amount of things right about vampires in his TV show and film about us and he looks INCREDIBLY YOUNG for his age. Mr. Waititi, if you're reading this, I would love to claim you for vampirekind. Reach out to me.

Now, onto some actual folklore.

The Yara-ma-yha-who is a frog-like creature. Huge mouth, but no teeth. Instead, it has suckers on its hands and feet and it uses them to drink its victims' blood. After that, it swallows them, hydrates, has a little lie-down, and then wakes up, pukes, and goes off to find its next victim. Unlike most vampiric species, it only hunts during the day. They come from Australian Aboriginal legends.

The New Zealand Vampire Tree is a tree that esentially turned a forest into a superorganism by weaving its roots in between the roots of all the surrounding trees. It does take water and nutrients from the other trees in the network but it also brings nutrients from far away much closer. It is not a parasitic relationship necessarily, just like vampirism isn't parasitic by nature.

In 2010, a man in New Zealand claims to have been attacked by vampires while walking at night. The guys he identified as the culprit was just a punk-looking human though. Was he the real culprit, or is the vampire still at large? It *totally* wasn't me.